71 - Enjoying the Older Years

Enjoying the Older Years
By J. Douglas Brown

Apart from matters of finance, housing, investments, taxes, and health services, there are other concerns in preparing for and enjoying one's older years which are subjective and must match one's personality and life experience. This does not imply that these concerns may be regarded lightly or taken as fixed and unchangeable. Since they are subjective, they differ widely between people; but being subjective, they can be adjusted by conscious effort applied over time.

As one approaches retirement, one needs to plan and develop as many lines of activity as possible which can be continued after formal retirement and which contribute to a sense of accomplishment as long as conditions permit. Ideally, many such activities should involve service to others, not to oneself alone. The choice should be individually determined, not imposed. For some, accomplishment, to afford needed satisfaction, must be very similar to that in one's working life. To others, it may involve a shift to simpler work, to community endeavors, to hobbies, or to sports. But the test is-does one get a true sense of accomplishment-or is one fooling oneself? Active participation in sports affords physical as well as psychological benefits, but overdependence on sports as a way of life in older years tends to give diminishing returns in any sense of real accomplishment. As in working life, purely recreational activities in old age are valued more if they are not the main means of filling time.

The ideal plan is to bridge over from full-time employment on the job to gradually adjusted activity of a more or less parallel sort-as smoothly as possible. The goal is a continued sense of accomplishment despite the changes which age and environment bring.

To be truly happy, one's interest in other people should increase rather than decrease as one grows old. This increase may be harder to maintain when one's physical ailments increase, but it is important for this very reason. Also, as one no longer has the multiple personal relations of the workplace, one needs to substitute new friends and acquaintances for old ones. If one loses one's spouse, friends are a great help. Of all people to cherish warmly are one's family, no matter how much succeeding generations may have differing ways of life.

J. Douglas Brown, now living at Meadow Lakes, a retirement community near Princeton, is one of the grand elder statesmen of American higher education and the pioneer advocate and developer of what is known as the Social Security system. At Princeton, he served as Professor of Economics, Dean of the Faculty, and Provost of the University. His rich, full life of scholarship, reading, and social justice is reflected in these personal comments on how to make the most of the older years.

72 - Enjoying the Older Years

People, of all creatures, are the most interesting. Older people have wide and long experience. They enjoy discussing it, and one can find an increasing interest in a broad diversity of people who have time to talk. Such talk is a mutually rewarding factor in enjoying old age. It has been so since the beginning of time.

A common attitude of those just becoming old is to resist being with old people. But other old people have the time, interest, and patience to talk and listen. They understand one's terms of reference. This does not preclude as much association as possible with young people, but one must remember that young people are busy and self-determining and unconsciously look upon old people as out of date. Don't be a bore! One has to earn the status of being interesting to young people by being truly interested in their period of life.

The way of life of old people in America today is far richer than ever before because of the explosion of communication. Added to the enlarged newspaper are the weekly magazines, radio, television, and a wide variety of well edited periodicals. The daily newspaper is a psychological preventive against boredom. An older person with time available should not only read the news thoroughly, but become involved in it. Continued interest in the events of one's community, region, country, and world is a godsend as active participation in these events becomes more difficult.

A particular kind of interest in events which age should enhance is that related to the changing seasons of the year and the succession of holidays and occasions which change brings. As one gets older, time moves more rapidly and seasons change faster. Change itself adds interest to life.

In post-retirement years, one reaps a rich harvest from a life of reading in fields far and wide. It is a time when one can reread cherished books, and venture into new areas. There is time to read long biographies, historical works, novels, and essays which one avoided in middle life. The best plan is to have two or three levels of books "going"; larger meaty volumes, shorter (and smaller) books of current interest, and purely recreational exercises such as detective or spy stories and travel books. Old age makes poetry more understandable. It makes the classics, with their depth of meaning, more stimulating.

Blessed is the older person who enjoys music, whether as a listener alone or as both a performer and a listener. In the more lonely times, the rich resources of classical music can be readily drawn upon. When one needs more rest than that required in younger years, the availability of both F.M. radio and recordings is a great boon. Eyes get tired, but ears can bring back long familiar symphonies, operas, and chamber programs.

Travel has become the spice in many people's programs. It is not always possible. It is ideal to have travelled much before one is old and in early retirement years in order to fill one's mind with pleasant and stimulating recollections. Travel experiences are not only a constant

73 - Enjoying the Older Years

reminder of the richness of life in the past, but are, in their substance, an interesting basis of thought and discussion in later years when travel may not be possible.

Old age is the time when a love of nature brings rich rewards, not the spectacular adventures of youth, but the nearby observation of growing things, trees, flowers, birds, and animals. Nature goes on regardless of one's age. It is a common factor in all stages of life. The justification of many sports, and of walking, is that it gets one outdoors.

Communication with family and friends is a vital support to happiness in old age. It is important to have some order in planning when one writes or phones a relative or friend. Such correspondence is more important in its existence, in its evidence of concern, than in the details of living of either communicant. The value of telephone interchange is that it can be conversational and cheery and very personal, not a written "report." Brief notes or phone calls at more frequent intervals are more valuable by far than a batch of formal Christmas cards.

Rather than a bore, routine is a blessing as one gets old. It gives structure to one's existence. Decisions are harder to make, and it is helpful to have a ready-made schedule for the less important operations. It is good to maintain regular habits of going to meals, dressing up according to normal expectations, and getting affairs and surroundings in order. It is vital that one does not permit being old to be an excuse for lower standards of dress, manners, or interest in the concerns and convenience of others. Going to meals may be routine; how one contributes to social intercourse at meals should not be routine, especially if it concerns complaints.

No matter how fortunate one is, sooner or later the process of aging brings serious physical limitations. It is then that the subjective resources of mind and spirit bring the strength to keep physical limitations in their place. The capacity of the human mind and spirit seems to grow with needs if there is a sustained faith and initiative to develop it.