79 - Limerick Philosophy

Limerick Philosophy
By Richard E. Aquila

STOICISM
(orig. ca. 300 B.C.)

All our problems, the Stoics enlighten us,
Are the upshot of too much uptightness.
Let's stay placid, their pitch is,
Through life's high-points and hitches;
Don't let worldly things flatter or frighten us!

Rich or poor, wisely wed or mismatched,
It's all Fate, on the view these men hatched.
In good health or contagious,
That's just Life, to these sages.
Come what may, then, we're best off detached.

Whether dining off gold, or in squalor,
Only Wisdom's what's worth half a dollar!
So in health or decrepit-
Let's just grin and accept it.
Don't get hot, they'd say, under The Scholar!

Thus the Stoical thinkers of Hellas
Say "Be wise!" above all else they tell us.
Live according to Reason.
Then, whatever the season,
Our smiles will suffice as umbrellas.

ST. AUGUSTINE
(354-430)

In the sermons of Bishop Augustine,
There's a stance that some say is disgustin'.
For on this thinker's terms,
We're as worthless as worms,
Without help from the God that we trust in.

Richard E. Aquila is Professor of Philosophy, The University of Tennessee, Knoxville. He is the author of Intentionality: A Study of Mental Acts (I 977) and Representational Mind: A Study of Kant's Theory of Knowledge (1983). These three limericks are reprinted with permission from his book Rhyme or Reason (University Press of America, 1981). In not much more than a hundred pages, the author presents in limerick verse a complete history of philosophy (and theology) from Thales to Sartre.

80 - Limerick Philosophy

Were we left to our own poor devices,
We'd all wallow in vermin and vices.
Only Heavenly Grace
Sheds some light in our face,
And first gives us an inkling what nice is.

Though it might get some humanists miffed,
I'd be helpless without such a gift.
Born with Sin that's Original,
I'd be trapped in my pigeon-hole,
Without wings that give power to lift.

And what's more-here's how weak our acumen is:
Nothing's known unless God makes it luminous.
The most trivial verity
Calls for graces and charity
That could only derive from what's numinous.

(Incidentally, since numbers appease'm
Polytheists might share in this theism:
When Augustine's the boss,
Only One God can awe us,
But this One's at the same time a Threesome!

On the view that he clung to with brio,
God's a solo, but also a trio.
And Ideas, he opined,
Are all thoughts in His mind.
So he's also Platonic-though "neo-".)

So from A, B and C, down to Zeta,
If it's good, just say "Thank you, Creator!"
And try hard-as you might-
To use all His gifts right,
So you also can say "See you later!"

KARL MARX
(1818-1883)

Though Hegelians may call him Iscariot,
Dialectic's okay, but he'd vary it.
For its goal, once you hear it, you'll
Concede's not so spirit-ual.
Namely, Power to the World-proletariat!

Be you Irish, Icelandic, Islamic,
You're mere parts of some whole, not atomic.

80 - Limerick Philosophy

And its motive or thrust?
Be realistic! You must
See all logic's at heart economic.

On the view for which Marx is notorious,
What you are reflects bow you're laborious.
So though Spirit is willing,
There's no life that's fulfilling
Until workers are finally victorious.

When it's Marxists who furnish the scenery,
The main problem's the status of greenery.
Power to people, not dollars!
(Thus the Marxian hollers.)
Let the workers all own the machinery!

So the point that these thinkers would drive at?
There's just one final goal to arrive at.
That's a world, should you quiz,
Where what's mine's hers and his.
I.e., property's no longer private.