463 - Sancta Camisia

Sancta Camisia

By Anthony S. Abbott

In the year of Our Lord 876 Charles the Bald-
grandson of Charlemagne-celebrated his return
from Jerusalem by presenting to the Cathedral

at Chartres a piece of cloth supposed to have
been worn by the Virgin Mary at the birth
of Jesus. Perhaps he was taken in by Arab traders

who after all have supplied susceptible Christians
for centuries with crosses, thorns, and loincloths
enough to perform the crucifixion hundreds of times.

Still, Sancta Camisia, as it is called, has been
certified by scientists as first century, and even
today, despite the Reformation and the noble efforts

of the French Revolution, pilgrims flock to kiss
the glass of the holy cloth, and on feast days
the lame are carried in leather litters to light

their candles before it. Senseless, say the scoffers,
but not I. I say it's a damn clever way of making
money. The Bishop of Chartres, who dragged it

from the fire in 1194 used it to pry from pious
people a whole new church. Sancta Simplicita.