141 - They Found Themselves

They Found Themselves

WHAT happens when someone comes within the magnetic circle of the Christ presence? Well, there may be as many answers as people, But in the Gospels there are several persons who, whatever else happened, found a new sense of themselves.

Regardless of what the Gospel writers may have had in mind as to Jesus the Messiah, it is illuminating to note how many of those who experienced the divine presence also found a new self-awareness. Curiously, this sense of a new self seems to have little to do directly with theology, doctrine, Christology, morality, or ethics. Let us see how this can be, and let two familiar episodes serve as introductory paradigms.

I

In the episode of the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well (John 4:4-42), the key verse for our theme follows the intricate conversation with Jesus about true worship, the water of life, marriage, and the relation of Jews and Samaritans. Apparently the woman was so excited by this exchange with Jesus that she forgot what she came for, left her waterpot unfilled, fled back to her village, and exploded to everyone within hearing range - "Come see a man, which told me all things that ever I did" (vs. 29). Taking a little exegetical liberty, we might translate these words, in the spirit of the text, somewhat as follows: "Can you believe it? I've met someone who told me all about myself."

A second introductory example involves even more critical license, ignoring the whole apparatus of parabolic hermeneutics. In the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), which follows the lost sheep and the lost coin, the crucial verse for our thesis and the decisive moment in the parable, reads: "And when he came to himself..." (vs. 17). The context here is a parable, and there is no implied confrontation with Jesus, except that he told the parable. But it could be argued that at least one level of meaning, besides the forgiving father and the unrepentant elder brother, hints that the resolution of the parable stems from the new self-awareness of the Prodigal.

The evangelists clearly had something else in mind than whether or not people in touch with Jesus experienced a new self-assurance. Biblical scholars tell us that episodes such as the Samaritan woman, as well a

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the parables, were included to authenticate Jesus' claim to be the Messiah. While acknowledging this evangelical emphasis and in no way disputing it, is it possible that in the process of explicating the Gospel Christology or the textual provenance, we may be missing something very personal and immediate? If we look at the direct responses of a large number of people who, knowingly or not, came within the range of the divine presence, what then?

Perhaps all such are incorporated into the Gospel texts for apologetic purposes and interpreted (manipulated?) deliberately to draw attention toward Jesus and away from the individuals themselves. But suppose, before acceding to that editorial purpose, we, for our part, isolate these persons for special attention as persons.

II

Let us look quickly at several in the Gospels who in one way or another came to a new personal awareness, inner joy, and self-assurance.

(a)The first disciple called by Jesus was Levi (Matthew), a publican and a tax collector (Matt. 9:9-13; Mark 2:13-17; Luke 5:27-32). The editorial purpose juxtaposes Jesus and his disciples over against the Pharisees, with the pivotal response of Jesus: "I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." But what about Levi? Apparently be was so astonished by Jesus' invitation that he threw a party ("a great company of publicans and of others'!) to celebrate, inviting all his disreputable friends to rejoice with him. If we can use our imagination, here we have an ostracized social outsider, snubbed by one and all, called for no reason we can detect to be a disciple of an unknown, wandering teacher. We don't know what else happened with Levi during his discipleship, but this one recorded instance of being in the dynamic presence of Jesus filled him with great joy and a new sense of self-importance.

(b) The man at the pool of Bethesda suffered from "an infirmity thirty and eight years" (John 5:1-15), in other words, most of his life. Jesus simply confronted him with deciding whether he really wanted to be made "whole," regardless of all excuses and evasions. And then, contrary to our modern principles, Jesus gave him "directive" counseling: "Get up and stand on your own two feet." The evangelist's concern is to show that resentment against Jesus resulted because this episode was on the Sabbath. But what of the infirm man? Without really knowing what had happened, or bow, or what was the identity of the authoritarian person who told him to get up, he made for the Temple to give thanks for suddenly becoming, against all his expectations, whole." We don't know what if anything he thought of Jesus at the time when he took matters into his own hands, but he surely must have experienced a new kind of self-confidence.

(c)A small person with a little curiosity to see what Jesus looked like, without being seen himself, Zacchaeus perched himself in a sycamore

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tree along the path where Jesus and the crowd were to pass. "Chief among the publicans and rich," he probably thought no one would pay any attention to him in his secluded hideaway (Luke 19: 1-10). Imagine his astonishment when Jesus spied him out and invited himself for dinner! The text tells us simply that Zacchaeus "made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully." A well known preacher, whose name won't surface, thought the words implied that Zacchaeus at Jesus' invitation fell out of the tree. Anyway, for Zacchaeus it must have been a joyous day, full of reassurance and renewed "ego-esteem," as we would say. Who knows? He may have been up a tree in many ways. Jesus brought him down to earth, enticed him out of his closet curiosity, and made him feel again like a member of the human race, in good and regular standing.

Zacchaeus was curious just to see Jesus; the Samaritan woman just wanted to talk; the woman with the uncontrollable bleeding just wanted to touch (Mark 5:25-34; Luke 8:43-48); Mary just wanted to soothe his feet with a scented unguent (John 12:1-8); and the common people heard him "gladly" (Mark 12:37). Whether these and others became disciples or believers, whether any new doctrine or moral principles were implied, apparently the divine presence was felt by many different kinds of people- to the renewing of their image of themselves.

III

There are many more such people in the Gospels who came into touch with Jesus, sometimes in only a casual way, and some of these are suggestive, if ambiguous, for our theme.

For example, we don't really know what to make of Nicodemus and the crucial conversation with Jesus about being born again (John 3:1-21). Did Nicodemus respond to Jesus' words? All we know is that he brought some spices to the sepulcher (John 19:39), which he surely wouldn't have done if Jesus had made no impression at all. But we mention Nicodemus because, among other things, Jesus said to him: "Art thou the teacher of Israel, and understandest not these things?" It seems that Jesus is revealing Nicodemus to himself, that he should already know these things, and that the truth he seeks is already at hand in his own background. This was a characteristic admonition of Jesus who repeatedly reminded his hearers, including the disciples as well as the Pharisees, that they had "Moses and the prophets" (Luke 16:29). But for Nicodemus it was not new truth he needed but, as we would say today, a new personhood.

The rich young ruler (Matt. 19:16-22; Mark 10: 17-22; Luke 18:18-24) is another ambiguous incident. If Jesus made a play on earthly riches and treasures in heaven, we may suggest another parallel between the young man's "great possessions" and more personal or emotional encumbrances. Jesus advised him to give these up if he wanted to find a new quality of life for himself. But as we all know, that's not easy. The young man had everything to lose. To free oneself for a radically new

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life-style requires giving up much that seems secure and valuable, tangibly or emotionally. People who most need counseling, addicts of all kinds, macho men, grasping and domineering mothers-all resist advice to change. To divest oneself of props on which life seems to depend is for many too risky. So the young man with so much is a negative example of our theme, since he was unable or unwilling to come to himself.

We can also note a reverse angle to our theme with those in the Gospels who through contact with Jesus came to a new sense of personal failure, unworthiness, and sin. That, of course, is only another way of saying that they, too, found themselves. The prime example here is Peter, whose biography unfolds as a sequence of confessions. Whether doubting or denying, testing or asserting, Peter's personal signature reads-"Depart from me; for I am a sinful man" (Luke 5:8).

It can also be said that Judas shares with Peter a radical sense of sin because of the sinless presence of Jesus. He "repented himself" and came to an awareness of his true self for having "betrayed innocent blood" (Matt. 27:3-4). Peter's sense of sin led to apostleship; Judas, in an ultimate gesture of self-loathing, hanged himself. And with Judas, we can place the "malefactor" crucified with Jesus who, in his extremity, somehow sensed his own sinfulness in a flash of self-recognition, reaching out in pathetic but earnest supplication (Luke 23:39-43).

If it is good to see ourselves as others see us, it is far better to see ourselves reflected in the divine presence. This means we may see Jesus as the Christ, the Redeemer who saves sinners, but we also begin to see ourselves as we really are, perhaps for the first time.

IV

These examples of those who found themselves, in touch with Jesus, and others not here alluded to, emerged from a planned reading through of a Harmony of the Gospels. What academics call the "winter break" (from just before Christmas to mid-terms) seemed an appropriate season to think about new beginnings. Beyond the persons, episodes, and incidents already mentioned, a couple of unexpected implications of this project may serve to conclude this editorial essay.

Note, first, that we are constantly meeting people in the Gospels whose lives were changed when they came in contact with Jesus, but the record of their responses is often tantalizingly abrupt. In the synoptic accounts of the paralytic, for example, only Luke tells us that, after Jesus healed him, he went away "glorifying God" (Luke 5:25). The centurion with the ill servant (Matt. 8:5-13) showed that he knew " authority" when he saw it, but nothing is recorded of his response to Jesus' odd word "thou hast believed." The man blind from birth (John 9:1-25) doesn't understand all the fuss made over him and settles the discussion by stating categorically: "One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see." Of the ten healed lepers, only one (a Samaritan) with a loud voice glorified God" (Luke 17:11-19). Blind Bartimaeus, after receiving his sight from Jesus, "followed him glorifying God"

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(Luke 18:35-43). And, to add one more, at the deposition, Joseph of Arimathea (Matt. 27:57-61; Mark 15:42-47) "who also was looking for the kingdom of God, ...boldly" asked Pilate for the body of Jesus to bury it in his own tomb.

Perhaps from the evangelists' perspective, all such persons serve only as incidental, nondescript "extras" in the grand drama of Jesus as the Christ. Indeed, these minor characters may have been quite unaware of being drawn into this cosmic narrative. But can we let it go at that? Doesn't Jesus have a way of breaking through editorial and textual constructs so that here and there, between the lines, we encounter real persons finding new meaning for themselves in Jesus' presence?

A second implication of these and other incidents follows, namely, the meagre content in many cases of doctrinal or moral teaching. True, there are extended discourses in connection with the Samaritan woman, as well as in others. But just as frequently, people are helped to see themselves afresh without the slightest homiletical, theological, or ethical prescription. It can be said, of course, that the theology (read "Christology") is implied in the Gospels themselves. Yet in so many of the references we have been exploring, the people involved seem to gain a new vision of themselves without any doctrinal or ethical strings. But maybe that is the theology! In the presence of Jesus, people of all kinds, then as now, can find hope, power, and- in the process- themselves.

V

The perils in pursuing this theme are obvious enough. We can find ourselves sabotaging the essence of the Gospel, left with a pale version of positive thinking or a self-serving spirituality. But the intent is not to undercut the Gospel but to magnify and extend its boundaries. Our conventional ways of thinking about Christian faith and life may need, from time to time, jolts of Scripture itself about what actually happened to lots of kinds of people who were drawn into the orbit of the Christ figure.

Once-upon-a-time, if we can trust the record, fugitive, mostly nameless and faceless persons felt the power of Jesus' presence and, through the experience, acquired new ways of thinking about themselves. It still happens.

Hugh T. Kerr